I know exactly what you mean!
I've heard that too, that I must have done terrible things in a past life, that I'm being punished for it, hence the hair loss etc.
By religion I'm Atenist (an Egyptian religion) so I do believe in reincarnation, and I've had past life regression. Of course I haven't done anything wrong in previous lives - the regression took me back to a very interesting life.
I'm also not married, unable to find someone who would be interested in more that a few dates. When Asian people get wind of that, they are surprised, and I don't want to know what they assume as to why I'm not married. But I haven't yet come across a man who would want a bald girl! Shallow, really, that's what they are!
It's a shame really, I've met a few nice men, but quite a few times it was actually me what ended it - because I was terrified I'd get left anyway when they find out that I have alopecia and can't have children. It's a right dilemma because a lot of men find me fascinating because I dress in traditional sarees, but I feel almost like I'm hiding a terrible secret because I wear wigs. I feel like I'm condemmed to stay single for the rest of my life.
I also go through the heartbreak of still loosing a lot of hair. When I comb or wash it, so much of it comes off, even though I don't have a lot left. Sometimes a bit grows back - but by the time I start to think the alopecia is finally imroving, it all falls out again - often a lot in one go.
But I've learned to consider my wig as my hair. It's long, dark brown with a few red highlights, cut in fashionable layers with a fringe. It's my hair now, and so what if I have to take it off in the evening!
Try that too, Pummie. Don't ponder over the hair that's falling out. The wig is your hair now, and that's not thinning but looking perfect. Comb it and enjoy combing YOUR HAIR. It's part of you now. There's nothing to be ashamed of, the alopecia is not your fault, you are not less of a human being or less of a woman because of it. And as for the people who think they have the right to judge us - karma will ensure they will have to learn to accept people as they are.
Take care xxxx