I think you seriously need to get some perspective (and some soap for your potty mouth
To say you'd rather have cancer is crazy talk. You'd rather die than lose hair? Really?
I recently had to shave my head after battling with this for 2 years. It's not ideal, but I'm still alive and I still get to see my children, friends and family. I still get to live!!!!
I appreciate this is difficult but a cure will come along when it comes along. In the meantime, the only way to get through this is to lift your chin up, be brave and be thankful that you can still do things that many less fortunate people can't i.e. those with terminal cancer!!!